Because sometimes I’m just quiet

Several friends have called me lately just to “check up on me.”  As a matter of fact, two friends called me today for this purpose within about an hour of each other.  I felt less “checked up on” than talked about.  Because it seemed like they’d probably been talking about me in the guise of being concerned about me and this led them each to decide to call me.

The things is, I don’t need checked up on. Things are pretty wonderful right now, actually.  We’re pretty busy, it is spring which means longer work days for my husband, extra school related things and long nights because of the kid’s track happenings.  But a busy life isn’t a bad life.  

Here’s the thing, rather than check up on me because you think something is wrong, which makes me feel like I’m your project or something you need to check off your to-do list, just be my friend. And if you are really my friend you know that sometimes I’m just quiet.  This doesn’t mean anything is wrong.  It just means I’m quiet. Maybe I’m listening more right now.  Maybe I’m learning to control this unruly tongue of mine.  Or maybe I’m just out of things to say for the moment.  It’s not wrong, it’s just a season.  And I don’t want to be anyone’s project.

But here’s another thing: maybe I’m not really your friend.  Maybe calls like these just remind me that I am “other”, in some way. Which is okay too, I don’t need to be everyone’s friend.  Especially if being your friend means I’m going to be your project.

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